Plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.

Veronica A. Shoffstall 

I wear the mask of confidence and, in all confidence I can say, I wear it very well. I rarely let it slip in public. I first donned the mask as protection. Confident people can keep other people at bay.  Apparently, so I have been told on numerous occasions, confidence is intimidating. Say something with confidence and most people don’t question it, they don’t recognize your vulnerability and therefore can’t exploit it; they can’t hurt you.

However the more I ponder on this the more I realize that it is not a mask at all, or if it is, it is a mask that has been worn for so long that it is now part of who I am. The mask has grown on me.

So now I see confidence not as a mask but as a perennial garden (for those poor souls not into gardening, a perennial is where you plant once and the plant grows and comes back year after year, an annual is a plant that must be planted each year). Some seeds are deliberately planted and some get dropped by the wind or a passing animal. The earth they are planted in will provide nutrients and this can be enhanced by adding to it. Sometimes you water them and sometimes they are watered by the sky.You have to watch your garden, some plants will over run it if you are not careful. Weeds will sprout if you leave them unattended.

Yet I’m rather a lazy gardener and have found that some plants people call weeds are, to me, lovely flowers so I keep them. I have also learned that those flowers that are natural are the strongest and I rather like that slightly over grown garden, the riot of colours, the little surprises that spring up so I tend to be prudent with my pruning.

And so confidence grows. It starts with tiny seeds that say “I can” or “I won’t” and the plant that will grow the strongest is the one that is most natural or gets the most nourishment.

Now you may think I nourish the “I can” more than “I won’t” but it depends on the situation. I will often use “I won’t” as in “I won’t let this get me down”. So you see, you have to wait until the plant flowers before you pluck it out.

Like any good perennial garden, confidence takes time to really take hold but you can fill in the holes with annuals; people and things that brighten up the garden of your soul even for a short time. The more you do this the more those seeds that you planted take root until one day you look out and see that mature garden that doesn’t really need those annuals but you keep them because they are beautiful.

And before I sound too much like a cocky gardener, there are times when a storm will ravage the garden and the flowers will be strewn about. What was once a chaotic riot of colour becomes just chaos and colourless. You look out at what was beautiful and think it will never be again, but…

as you clean up after the storm you discover that some of those roots remain, the seeds have been scattered, maybe the plants that didn't survive were not really needed and there are always those favourite annuals that have become perennials to fill in the holes.

So in confidence I say: Grow your gardens of confidence, plant them with the flowers of your choosing, gather those flowers and decorate your soul and if your garden is plentiful pick a bouquet for someone whose garden has not yet fully flowered because as good gardeners know, picking flowers makes them flower more.